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[energeia]

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ROBIN BECKER

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[princess_of_ida]

Did your family celebrate birthdays with so many of you?

[energeia]

Probably not the same way most celebrate their birthdays. Presents were usually new clothes, then we'd have our favorite food for dinner.

[ Lies, lies, lies. They got absolutely nothing. ]

Does your society celebrate birthdays?

[princess_of_ida]

Yeah. Our birthday party was the hottest ticket on Ida. People clambored all year for an invite.

It was opulent: an entire wing of the palace dedicated to it, expensive presents, decadent foods, exotic performances, designer drugs, beautiful people. Grandiose and exquisite, the best day of the year for everyone in attendance.

It was so fucking boring.

[energeia]

I've always thought that those parties never seem to be for the people they're supposedly celebrating.

[princess_of_ida]

Most of them aren't. This one was - I just wasn't the one being celebrated. Corona always had the best time, but she always did when she was the center of attention.

[energeia]

[ Ah. ]

What would you rather have done for your birthday?

[princess_of_ida]

I don't know. It was always this way until last year. I found ways to entertain myself. My yearly practice of intentionally inviting my cavalier's ex just to watch him squirm all night. Listening to the House gossip since people tended to forget I was there if Corona wasn't hanging onto me. All to just get through to the afterparty. The birthday sex was phenominal.

It wasn't as bad when we were children. The parties still happened, but the guests were mostly for our parents politicking. Judith was more fun to pick on back then and Babs wasn't insufferable. Corona still dragged me around and thrived under the attention. They always had us do a demonstration, harder and harder each year, to keep them from learning Corona didn't have a necromantic bone in her body. I hated it, but it made me stronger. Kept us together.

[energeia]

[ She tried to imagine being made into someone so unremarkable simply by the nature of the people surrounding her. Being the shadow cast by her own sister, shining and rich, as valuable as fake gold.

Robin would never know the same power or admiration as her brother, but she was meant to be seen even when he wasn't around. Too much, even. Maybe she would've liked to have been able to fade into the background. ]

Secrets inherently bind people together, don't they.

Would you have the same relationship if you didn't have to save her from being found out?

[princess_of_ida]

I've done it my whole life, so we wouldn't be separated. I agreed to it. Could've stopped it anytime, but I never wanted to be the Crown Princess of Ida.

Moot point now. It all came out when I achieved lyctorhood. We couldn't hide it then, and I didn't include her. She's very angry at me.

What's the point in dwelling on what could have been?

[energeia]

It forces us to analyze and appreciate what we have now by comparison, I suppose. There is no point in doing it if all it's for is to daydream, though. We're just left in the same place once that daydream is over.

How did you react to her anger?

[princess_of_ida]

It's fucking ridiculous. The stupidest fucking thing to be angry about, when the reason is as obvious as the fucking sun in the sky. I didn't take her anger seriously.

Later, after shit happened and we were separated, I thought about it. It hurt. A lot. She'll eventually get over it, but even if she doesn't, I'd still not use her.

[energeia]

You shouldn't. [ Take it seriously. She agrees. ] But I understand why it would hurt.

[ It takes her a while to continue. ]

How much longer do you think we'll be here, Ianthe?

[princess_of_ida]

I don't know. Something is barring me from the River or I'd have left already. I've been here almost an entire First House year.

But change is coming. I'll know more then.

[energeia]

For the better, I hope. We've had more than enough torment from this place.

[princess_of_ida]

The goal is always worth the cost, Robin.

Did you go to that birthday party?

[energeia]

[ Words right out of her cult's mouth. ]

I agree.

No.

[ Billy was there. Gross. ]

Did you?

[princess_of_ida]

Yeah. My absence would've been noted. Jem's part of my Lord's new family. Best of me to make an appearance.

I didn't stay long. Too many people.

[energeia]

I haven't seen him around lately.

[ She won't ask if Ianthe has, or how she feels about that new family these days. If Ianthe speaks about it, she'll listen. ]

I imagine the party came just in time to help them forget about last month's events.

[princess_of_ida]

He's been focusing on building the hostel out by the pond. Prospero's been helping.

None of us will forget what happened in the caves. But I suppose people will either throw themselves into a sea of people while some of us isolate to ground ourselves.

[energeia]

[ She can only guess how many void-touched will gladly flee from the boarding house for that. ]

Do you meditate?

[princess_of_ida]

Not without necromantic assistance. I have a stupifying deficit of attention.

[energeia]

Ah. Some of my siblings could probably relate to that.

Would you choose to forget, if you could?

[ She could also think of a sibling who'd gladly do that for her. Erase those memories, even replace them with something nicer. Any excuse to mess with people's minds was welcome. Only the threat of Mother's magic kept that brat in check. ]

[princess_of_ida]

No. Memories make us who we are. The soul is malleable, and pain is just a price we have to pay.

Besides, I've seen firsthand how it changes a person. I wouldn't trust anyone with such alterations, and I don't care to do it to myself.

[energeia]

Would you feel comfortable talking about that person?

[princess_of_ida]

Unfortunately, I'm restricted from talking any further about that. It's a nice thought, though.